Video Games and Movies

I read an article recently in Game Informer about the Super Mario Bros. Movie. It was hysterical to hear how arguably the worst video game movie was made. Drunk actors, millions of rewrites, and at its core, a directing team that had no passion for the source material.

I remember as a kid being pumped about seeing the movie. "The detective from Roger Rabbit is Mario?? AWESOME!" Then I watched it, and basically convinced myself it was a good movie. Young Floworcrash, super Nintendo fanboy as I was (am), wanted my favorite hobby to finally go into the mainstream. In essence, the movie I feel set "video game movies" behind so much I STILL feel the genre is trying to prove something. Its really sad when a live action / cartoon hybrid on TV starring Captain Lou Albano was a better interpretation of the game.

I think the project was doomed from the start. Super Mario as a game franchise, is the high water mark of video game execution and success. Ill play any Mario game right now. I'm a huge fan of the fat plumber. But let's be real guys, how the FUCK can anyone make a movie out of that? Its basically an acid trip that keeps score. A half hour cartoon for kids works, like the many Sonic cartoons over the years, but a major league film? Stupid. The movie execs took the most successful franchise at the time and tried to make it work. Square pegs don't fit into Round holes.

Are there good video game movies out there? Some are decent. My favorite happens to be FINAL FANTASY: Advent Children. It doesn't stray from the source material, has great CG animation, and gives fans everything they wanted in a sequel to VII. But its not for the mainstream.
That's the problem right there. Video games ARE mainstream in today's world. So why can't a great movie based on one be too?

There have been more recent attempts bringing video games to the big screen. Street Fighter: The Story of Chun-Li and Prince of Persia both did not do well in the theatres and critically bombed. The SF movie looked horrible right from the trailers, and sure enough it was. The only thing it had in common with the franchise were the names of characters. It was better than the OG movie starring Van Damme, but a YouTube clip of me taking a shit was too. I honestly had high hopes for the Prince movie. It had serious hype surrounding it, and I'm a fan of the series. Moreover, The Sands of Time, which the movie is based on, is a great game and the best Prince game on a console. And the movie was ok..not bad, but not the blockbuster film everyone hoped it would be.

So where does this leave us? Filmmakers need to go back to the drawing board. We need a film based on a well known franchise, and take it seriously. Competent directing, great acting, and a script that gives the hardcore what they are looking for but makes it accessible to mainstream film fans. You need a film that when the masses see the trailer, they are excited to see it, and forget its a "video game movie".

For my money, I think there's only ONE franchise that can deliver this kind of experience. The Legend of Zelda. Link is an everyman character. A coming of age story of an unlikely hero. Hyrule on screen can be just as breathtaking as Middle Earth or Hogwarts. The best part of using the The Legend of Zelda is that it wouldn't be difficult to stay with the source material. A fantasy epic with swords, sorcery and exploration is something that is both a cliche in both mediums, but commercially viable. It can also be pitched as a saga: A trilogy where Link must find the Master Sword, and the pieces of the Triforce to defeat Ganon.

My fantasy movie also needs star power. For a story like this, I think there's only one man out there that can play Link on screen: Orlando Bloom. Orlando's commercial success came from The Lord of the Rings, and I think the world would love to see him dust off his Legolas routine for Link. I'm not going to bore you guys with the rest of the cast and crew. These types of lists all involve Emmy winning talent and is simply a pipe dream for fanboys. But I think an actor like Bloom is doable, appropriate and needed for the mainstream crowd.

Here a couple of other games that I think could make great movies, assuming they are done well!
1) Uncharted - Apparently this is being made already, but I'm not liking some of the casting choices I'm seeing on the web. Hopefully I'm wrong, but it's sounding like a "Prince of Persia" situation

2) Max Payne - the last movie SUCKED, and was nothing like the gritty, noir game series. Reboot it, NOW. Get Zack Snyder on tap, and someone NOT named Wahlberg to play Max

3) God of War - This may be tough to pull off, I know. But done well, it could have a unique "Spartacus"
meets "The Crow" vibe. Speaking of Spartacus, lets get a (god willing) healthy Andy Whitfield to play the Ghost of Sparta. It would be a pretty epic comeback vehicle no?

There's four ideas there Hollywood. They're FREE! You guys probably thought I'd say HALO right? I'd have to admit, a Halo movie could be awesome, but here's the problem....Master Chief is a faceless hero. That's kind of Bungie's point I think. You never see his face, and I hope you never do. That works for a FPS, not for a movie.

To close this out, I want to give you a quick list of the WORST video game movies EVER:

1) Super Mario Bros.
2) Double Dragon - Alyssa Milano as Marion couldn't save this
3) Street Fighter - B movie cheese fest..and not enough action
4) In the Name of a King: A Dungeon Siege Tale. My boy "Turkish" (Jason Statham) is in it but..UWE BOLL
5) Man there are so many, I can't list another, Bloodrayne? DOA? Mortal Kombat? Take your pick!

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The Death Of Couch Co-Op

Right, Irene's blown over....powers back on, both my Fantasy Drafts are done. Let's get back at it!

Me and my boy Bart_Maul grew up together and of course one of our favorite things to do was playing games. There were (are) plenty of great single player experiences out there: Zelda, Final Fantasy, Mega Man etc. Bart and I, like many of you out there I'm sure, preferred the games with a "2 - Player" option. Gaming is better with more people. It's awesome to tackle a game with friends. Me and Bart had plenty of options growing up, starting off with Contra, Battletoads, and River City Ransom. Then the ante got upped with 16 bit classics like: Streets of Rage, Contra 3, Super Smash TV..

Here's the problem though. The older I get the games get better and better, but my choices for cooperative play get less and less. With the advent of online console gaming, competitive and cooperative experiences are available on virtually every game out there. I love it, but as "social" the experience is, I'm still sitting alone on my couch.

I feel that every game that has online competitive or cooperative modes should also be able to mirror those modes with a split screen. Unfortunately, I'm just not seeing it enough. Developers blame time and budget when cutting local co-op features at release time. That's crap. Broadband high speed internet is getting a bigger customer base every day, but there are still plenty of people out there that can't get it. Or more importantly, can't afford it. In the case of XBOX, maybe you can swing your cable bill every month, but can't pay for a gold membership. Why do these people get punished with a game that they full price for, but only can experience 50% to 75% of it? That fact alone should motivate developers to include these features.

I can't tell you how many games Bart or I have rented / bought, seeing "co-op" on the box, only to discover it's online only. Or worse, how many mediocre games we've suffered through just because we could roll together on it.

As graphics and features become better with every new release,  a lot of today's gamers refuse to look to the past, which is a crime. I understand it in a way though. Some guys see blocky graphics and can't look past it. But we can't forget the social aspect of gaming that has made it the great experience it is today. The one that online should compliment, and enhance, not replace!

In my opinion, I think any game that has coop or competitive modes should blend the "local" and "online" worlds together. That would be the shit. Why should I kick my boy out of the house so we can play Deathmatch? I should be able to play coop split screen, and if someone on my friends list invites me into a game, we both should be able to go over. How sick would it be if we could play Left 4 Dead, online, with any combination of split screens we wanted? Of course it should be seamless drop in and out gameplay as well. Think of it this way developers, what better way to "advertise" your online features then to have someone actually play them, instead of watching your friend at his house. Jump in bro, let's get em, I say!

I think the Halo series has done the best job at this. Friends can play locally in any mode, and plus we can "guest" on one guy's XBOX live account so we can all experience the online modes together. The flexibility of the customization options allow you to make unique game modes for 4 player split screen matches. Or, you can challenge another set of four players sitting on someone elses couch somewhere. Want to tackle the campaign? At least two can do it together, and later editions have allowed four players to save the universe.

COD: Black Ops lets you "guest" online, but no split screen campaign. Gears of War lets play as Marcus and Dom in a split screen campaign, but you need to send your buddy home if you want to play Warzone. Killzone allows couch coop, but no split screen matches or guesting.

And what happened to "beat em ups"? They were great coop experiences. I loved those games, and I guess today's refined tastes have left that genre in the grave. Some my favorite gaming memories involved them though: X-MEN Arcade, The Double Dragon series, Ninja Gaiden, Final Fight, River City, The Streets Of Rage series etc etc. Long live beat em up man.

That about does it for now guys. What do you guys think? Do you care about local multiplayer features? Miss them? What's your favorite game? Let me know.

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