Saturday, September 10, 2011

Video Games and Movies

I read an article recently in Game Informer about the Super Mario Bros. Movie. It was hysterical to hear how arguably the worst video game movie was made. Drunk actors, millions of rewrites, and at its core, a directing team that had no passion for the source material.

I remember as a kid being pumped about seeing the movie. "The detective from Roger Rabbit is Mario?? AWESOME!" Then I watched it, and basically convinced myself it was a good movie. Young Floworcrash, super Nintendo fanboy as I was (am), wanted my favorite hobby to finally go into the mainstream. In essence, the movie I feel set "video game movies" behind so much I STILL feel the genre is trying to prove something. Its really sad when a live action / cartoon hybrid on TV starring Captain Lou Albano was a better interpretation of the game.

I think the project was doomed from the start. Super Mario as a game franchise, is the high water mark of video game execution and success. Ill play any Mario game right now. I'm a huge fan of the fat plumber. But let's be real guys, how the FUCK can anyone make a movie out of that? Its basically an acid trip that keeps score. A half hour cartoon for kids works, like the many Sonic cartoons over the years, but a major league film? Stupid. The movie execs took the most successful franchise at the time and tried to make it work. Square pegs don't fit into Round holes.

Are there good video game movies out there? Some are decent. My favorite happens to be FINAL FANTASY: Advent Children. It doesn't stray from the source material, has great CG animation, and gives fans everything they wanted in a sequel to VII. But its not for the mainstream.
That's the problem right there. Video games ARE mainstream in today's world. So why can't a great movie based on one be too?

There have been more recent attempts bringing video games to the big screen. Street Fighter: The Story of Chun-Li and Prince of Persia both did not do well in the theatres and critically bombed. The SF movie looked horrible right from the trailers, and sure enough it was. The only thing it had in common with the franchise were the names of characters. It was better than the OG movie starring Van Damme, but a YouTube clip of me taking a shit was too. I honestly had high hopes for the Prince movie. It had serious hype surrounding it, and I'm a fan of the series. Moreover, The Sands of Time, which the movie is based on, is a great game and the best Prince game on a console. And the movie was ok..not bad, but not the blockbuster film everyone hoped it would be.

So where does this leave us? Filmmakers need to go back to the drawing board. We need a film based on a well known franchise, and take it seriously. Competent directing, great acting, and a script that gives the hardcore what they are looking for but makes it accessible to mainstream film fans. You need a film that when the masses see the trailer, they are excited to see it, and forget its a "video game movie".

For my money, I think there's only ONE franchise that can deliver this kind of experience. The Legend of Zelda. Link is an everyman character. A coming of age story of an unlikely hero. Hyrule on screen can be just as breathtaking as Middle Earth or Hogwarts. The best part of using the The Legend of Zelda is that it wouldn't be difficult to stay with the source material. A fantasy epic with swords, sorcery and exploration is something that is both a cliche in both mediums, but commercially viable. It can also be pitched as a saga: A trilogy where Link must find the Master Sword, and the pieces of the Triforce to defeat Ganon.

My fantasy movie also needs star power. For a story like this, I think there's only one man out there that can play Link on screen: Orlando Bloom. Orlando's commercial success came from The Lord of the Rings, and I think the world would love to see him dust off his Legolas routine for Link. I'm not going to bore you guys with the rest of the cast and crew. These types of lists all involve Emmy winning talent and is simply a pipe dream for fanboys. But I think an actor like Bloom is doable, appropriate and needed for the mainstream crowd.

Here a couple of other games that I think could make great movies, assuming they are done well!
1) Uncharted - Apparently this is being made already, but I'm not liking some of the casting choices I'm seeing on the web. Hopefully I'm wrong, but it's sounding like a "Prince of Persia" situation

2) Max Payne - the last movie SUCKED, and was nothing like the gritty, noir game series. Reboot it, NOW. Get Zack Snyder on tap, and someone NOT named Wahlberg to play Max

3) God of War - This may be tough to pull off, I know. But done well, it could have a unique "Spartacus"
meets "The Crow" vibe. Speaking of Spartacus, lets get a (god willing) healthy Andy Whitfield to play the Ghost of Sparta. It would be a pretty epic comeback vehicle no?

There's four ideas there Hollywood. They're FREE! You guys probably thought I'd say HALO right? I'd have to admit, a Halo movie could be awesome, but here's the problem....Master Chief is a faceless hero. That's kind of Bungie's point I think. You never see his face, and I hope you never do. That works for a FPS, not for a movie.

To close this out, I want to give you a quick list of the WORST video game movies EVER:

1) Super Mario Bros.
2) Double Dragon - Alyssa Milano as Marion couldn't save this
3) Street Fighter - B movie cheese fest..and not enough action
4) In the Name of a King: A Dungeon Siege Tale. My boy "Turkish" (Jason Statham) is in it but..UWE BOLL
5) Man there are so many, I can't list another, Bloodrayne? DOA? Mortal Kombat? Take your pick!

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